From a sister in Christ...
A Look in the Mirror

In the hearts of mankind there is a natural bucking or fighting of what is real.
----"Surely I don't really wear that size now," or even, "I don't have to view this web site. I can stop. Tomorrow." Jesus spoke to the struggles we try to run from. Flatly He said, "In the world you will have tribulation. Take courage, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).

Comfort?
In these words I do not find much comfort. Sadly, it seems His declaration to me is more infuriating than comforting. I want to say, "Good for You, but what about me? It seems that pornography has overcome me. Where are You anyway?"
----It is natural to be mad. Things just do not turn out the way people plan, in small ways for some and in catastrophic ways for others. Pornography has literally torn some of your homes in two. It was only supposed to be a bit of relief, and bit of what you are starving for. But pornography, like "good things" such as working hard, striving for a gorgeous lawn, or finding yourself in too many committee meetings, leaves you empty.

Band-Aids
These can all be used as sort of Band-Aids for the cancer that is ailing you. For one who has cancer, Band-Aids are useless. For one whose soul is ravenous, Saltines just don't hit-the-spot. For one who finds he is helpless and needy, there has to be a more substantial cure. There is another dimension.
----Behind all of the noise of the lawn mowers, the demands of work, and the pulling of family, there is something more. Sometimes you see it in the smile of a child as the sun just catches the gold in his hair and the glimmer in his eye. Or maybe you feel it as you unexpectedly spot a deer leaping over that fence to the open pasture next door. It may be when you actually are aware that there is an all-out war within you as you battle to view the pornography that is just at your fingertips. There is another dimension, in you and in this world and it is real. It is more real, more powerful, and more spectacular than we can even begin to imagine.

When reality begins
The Bible says that the ultimate reality is in heaven with God. (John 17:1-3) It also says that that reality begins now. Sometimes we do experience a bit of God, of heaven on earth. But we must admit that it is rare. And I think that is what maddens us so. Those moments with others or with God that are so very good are all too rare. However, things like pornography, which create the illusion of a bit of heaven on earth, are strikingly powerful and easily found. We want it cheap, heaven that is, and we want the power to have it on demand. And actually anything that is good and noble, we think shouldn't be so hellish, such as receiving a master's degree, ridding the yard of weeds, or talking to our wives. Therefore, hypnotherapists, hair transplants, liquor stores, and pornography abound. Heaven, relief, something that feels good will be had. Also, we want growth in the Christian life with no sacrifice. We think, "He could not have meant what He said about tribulation. Surely these words, this fate, is not reality, not what He calls us to." So we scramble to grow in Christ, whatever that means.

We have our quiet times, give to missionaries, attend elder meetings until we are exhausted, but the reality in our souls that something is wrong cannot be silenced and the passions to catch what's on the Internet erupt.

War
But Jesus tried to tell us. Christianity is much bigger than we want to know. It is a war. Genesis 3 tells us so. Man and woman were placed in the garden, did not believe God, chose to go their own way, and gave allegiance to Satan. The doors to the garden were closed. And now to this day, the war continues and we are out of the garden. We are not in paradise and we scratch and claw to get back in, with an image on a computer for a few lousy seconds. It sounds dramatic, but it is not. It is personal. Reality always is, because what is real stems from the person of God, our leader in this battle between good and evil since the beginning of time.

What difference can God make?
What does God offer in this battle with pornography? What difference can He make in the real struggles of life? How can Someone so seemingly absent be more powerful than the urges that scream to met and satisfied? Who is this God? He is one who blows our cover. He is one who opens our nostrils so that the death-making stench we are living in wakes us from the dead. We look down and see that we are covered in mud, our clothes are in tatters, and can't quite remember how we started mistaking pig slop for the filet mignon we were created to enjoy (Luke 15). He shows us that the ecstasy in pornography is so damn fleeting. One feels more foul, more desperate, more alone, and more unsatisfied. "Stolen water is sweet; and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. But he does not know that the dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of Sheol" (Proverbs 9:17-18).
----The reality is that you have demanded that you have what you want, in this case, sexual gratification. However, you have found it with images on a computer screen. Reality is that an inanimate object arouses you. You are wretchedly alone and are living among the dead. Reality is that you are not satisfied, because you are a living being who needs another fleshly being, a wife, to satisfy you sexually. You need a person, the Person of God through Christ, to satisfy the soul hunger you experience.

Natural flight
There is a natural flight from what is real, what seems too hard to face. Who is this God in the midst of your struggle with loving and loathing pornography? He is One who has allowed you to sink into the sin of pornography and respected you enough to wait for your return. That is a stunning reality. David says to his son who is about to become king, "Be strong, therefore, and show yourself to be a man" (1 Kings 2:2). Look in the mirror. What have you become? Is this what you want? I believe the reality in the depths of your soul is that you do not want to deny your sonship to the King.

Find what is true
Be strong. Show yourself to be a man. Seek with all of your questions, with all of what is really going on in side of you, and find what is true from the One who said, "In the world you will have tribulation. Take courage, I have overcome the world."

Copyright 1998 by eXXit