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In
the hearts of mankind there is a natural bucking or fighting
of what is real.
----"Surely
I don't really wear that size now," or even, "I don't have
to view this web site. I can stop. Tomorrow." Jesus spoke to
the struggles we try to run from. Flatly He said, "In the
world you will have tribulation. Take courage, I have
overcome the world" (John 16:33).
Comfort?
In these words I do not find much comfort. Sadly, it seems
His declaration to me is more infuriating than comforting. I
want to say, "Good for You, but what about me? It seems that
pornography has overcome me. Where are You anyway?"
----It
is natural to be mad. Things just do not turn out the way
people plan, in small ways for some and in catastrophic ways
for others. Pornography has literally torn some of your
homes in two. It was only supposed to be a bit of relief,
and bit of what you are starving for. But pornography, like
"good things" such as working hard, striving for a gorgeous
lawn, or finding yourself in too many committee meetings,
leaves you empty.
Band-Aids
These can all be used as sort of Band-Aids for the cancer
that is ailing you. For one who has cancer, Band-Aids are
useless. For one whose soul is ravenous, Saltines just don't
hit-the-spot. For one who finds he is helpless and needy,
there has to be a more substantial cure. There is another
dimension.
----Behind
all of the noise of the lawn mowers, the demands of work,
and the pulling of family, there is something more.
Sometimes you see it in the smile of a child as the sun just
catches the gold in his hair and the glimmer in his eye. Or
maybe you feel it as you unexpectedly spot a deer leaping
over that fence to the open pasture next door. It may be
when you actually are aware that there is an all-out war
within you as you battle to view the pornography that is
just at your fingertips. There is another dimension, in you
and in this world and it is real. It is more real, more
powerful, and more spectacular than we can even begin to
imagine.
When reality
begins
The Bible says that the ultimate reality is in heaven with
God. (John 17:1-3) It also says that that reality begins
now. Sometimes we do experience a bit of God, of heaven on
earth. But we must admit that it is rare. And I think that
is what maddens us so. Those moments with others or with God
that are so very good are all too rare. However, things like
pornography, which create the illusion of a bit of heaven on
earth, are strikingly powerful and easily found. We want it
cheap, heaven that is, and we want the power to have it on
demand. And actually anything that is good and noble, we
think shouldn't be so hellish, such as receiving a master's
degree, ridding the yard of weeds, or talking to our wives.
Therefore, hypnotherapists, hair transplants, liquor stores,
and pornography abound. Heaven, relief, something that feels
good will be had. Also, we want growth in the Christian life
with no sacrifice. We think, "He could not have meant what
He said about tribulation. Surely these words, this fate, is
not reality, not what He calls us to." So we scramble to
grow in Christ, whatever that means.
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We have our quiet times, give to
missionaries, attend elder meetings until we are exhausted,
but the reality in our souls that something is wrong cannot
be silenced and the passions to catch what's on the Internet
erupt.
War
But Jesus tried to tell us. Christianity is much bigger than
we want to know. It is a war. Genesis 3 tells us so. Man and
woman were placed in the garden, did not believe God, chose
to go their own way, and gave allegiance to Satan. The doors
to the garden were closed. And now to this day, the war
continues and we are out of the garden. We are not in
paradise and we scratch and claw to get back in, with an
image on a computer for a few lousy seconds. It sounds
dramatic, but it is not. It is personal. Reality always is,
because what is real stems from the person of God, our
leader in this battle between good and evil since the
beginning of time.
What difference
can God make?
What does God offer in this battle with pornography? What
difference can He make in the real struggles of life? How
can Someone so seemingly absent be more powerful than the
urges that scream to met and satisfied? Who is this God? He
is one who blows our cover. He is one who opens our nostrils
so that the death-making stench we are living in wakes us
from the dead. We look down and see that we are covered in
mud, our clothes are in tatters, and can't quite remember
how we started mistaking pig slop for the filet mignon we
were created to enjoy (Luke 15). He shows us that the
ecstasy in pornography is so damn fleeting. One feels more
foul, more desperate, more alone, and more unsatisfied.
"Stolen water is sweet; and bread eaten in secret is
pleasant. But he does not know that the dead are there, that
her guests are in the depths of Sheol" (Proverbs
9:17-18).
----The
reality is that you have demanded that you have what you
want, in this case, sexual gratification. However, you have
found it with images on a computer screen. Reality is that
an inanimate object arouses you. You are wretchedly alone
and are living among the dead. Reality is that you are not
satisfied, because you are a living being who needs another
fleshly being, a wife, to satisfy you sexually. You need a
person, the Person of God through Christ, to satisfy the
soul hunger you experience.
Natural
flight
There is a natural flight from what is real, what seems too
hard to face. Who is this God in the midst of your struggle
with loving and loathing pornography? He is One who has
allowed you to sink into the sin of pornography and
respected you enough to wait for your return. That is a
stunning reality. David says to his son who is about to
become king, "Be strong, therefore, and show yourself to be
a man" (1 Kings 2:2). Look in the mirror. What have you
become? Is this what you want? I believe the reality in the
depths of your soul is that you do not want to deny your
sonship to the King.
Find what is
true
Be strong. Show yourself to be a man. Seek with all of your
questions, with all of what is really going on in side of
you, and find what is true from the One who said, "In the
world you will have tribulation. Take courage, I have
overcome the world."
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